It never occurred to me until I put the pieces together yesterday.
Alex will often ask me if I watched a certain thing that came out when I was a child. The thing is, I have an impression of these movies or shows or whatever. I get the strong sense I saw the thing. The problem is, I can barely remember anything about it. Why is that? Why can my husband, a mere 3 years older than me, remember very distinct details of something I have no real developmental reason to completely not remember outside of a feeling?
I've finally linked this phenomena I previously wrote off as another trauma reaction - probably. It makes sense. I buried so much that happened to me as a child, and the media went with it. This is why I can't remember nor really like the original Star Wars movies. This is why I can't recall classic action movies of my childhood. This is why it's so hard for me to remember iconic television shows I was probably watching at the time. My traumatized brain just deleted those memories wholesale to protect me, but most likely I've got a backup drive. It'll be interesting to see what, if anything, comes roaring back as I do my trauma work in therapy.
Interesting probably isn't the right word.
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