Fluxuation

So, five pounds in two days is a bit extreme.  I'm actually relieved that the number on the scale went up by a pound and a half this morning.  No regrets.  I felt good last night making myself and my boyfriend a good dinner.  Our plan is to let go of our plan a bit on the weekends, though not to go buck wild, so the moment of truth will be Monday when I weigh in.  I'm guessing that overall, I'll have lost 3 lbs and an inch or two.

Did some bench lifting in the morning, and attended another Zumba class though I gave it less effort than last time because HOLY GOD I CAN NOT BOUNCE ON MY TIPPY TOES FOR AN HOUR STRAIGHT.  I still think it's a fun way to get all of my steps in, though, which I was successful in doing for the fourth day in a row.

I also attended my first Overeaters Anonymous meeting because what makes this time different than the hundreds of other times I tried to get my eating under control only to fail less than a month later?  I think the secret is support, be it twelve-step, friends, or fellow life-changers.  I cried.  I'm a cryer.  But I cried because I finally put the pieces together: the reason that I'm terrified of dying because of my disordered eating is because it's what killed my ahjashi.  It's a Korean term -- basically, this man was like a father to me.  His disordered eating led to heart problems, then multiple surgeries, and then he never woke up from a surgery.  It didn't have to happen that way.  He could have still had more time with his grand kids.  It doesn't have to be that way for me.  I could watch my theoretical grandkids grow up.

Food log!:

Breakfast - Three eggs with a half a tablespoon of butter and a cup of skim milk = 374 Cal

Lunch - Wendy's Ultimate Chicken Grill = Yum! = 390 Cal

Dinner - Spicy chicken pasta leftovers = 611 Cal

Snacks - A banana and an apple = 160 Cal

Total: 1,535 Cal 180 Carbs 44 Fat 94 Protein 1,595 Salt 51 Sugar

And not over on a single stat!  WOO!